The Bowlhead Interview

I thought you were going to write a book?

Bowl: I am writing a book

Am I in it?

B: Not now literally. No you are not in it but I can dedicate it to you if you like? Or you can be a seedy passer-by at some point?

Can I be a seedy passer by? Rob says he wants to strangle you by the way. Oh, and in the book say I have cum stained trousers and I’ll know it's me

B:Deal, why does rob want to strangle me? He’d have to leave east London for that though so not very likely

That’s true actually bowlhead. He’s planning a riding comeback, but this isn't about Rob, it’s about you bowlhead. What about your riding comeback. You did three tricks the other day that were all really sketchy. Do you think you'll ever be as good as you once were?

Bowl:You should have seen me last night, I ball rode out of a fast plant downside, it was so x-games you better believe i'm back; i'm going to beat josh again

Remember beating me in a and b group dirt at the go ape jam? I wanted to kill you. Everyone loved you but you beat me and I wanted you to fall and land on your head. Sorry.

B: Ha-ha I had a fractured heel from that stupid bomb drop then, Joe has all the footage of that I don’t land a single trick But I’m sorry to make you feel like tat Benson, it wasn’t intentional

Its ok bowlhead. I like you know. Y'know. Friends close but enemies closer?

B: I understand, thank you
Your mercy knows no bounds

One day I’ll kill you. Anyway, on a lighter note. Have you ever Cleveland steamed a girl?

B: I have no idea, what the hell is that, probably not though I aint all that in the sack. Tell me and I'll let you know

You shit on her chest. Must be big in Cleveland.
I’ve heard your great in bed anyway

B:Maybe by accident. They must have been even worse than me then

Ha-ha. Can you explain how you would 'accidentally' shit on ladies tits?

B: Well if I did I haven't got a recollection of it so I cant explain I just wasn’t ruling anything out, I get drunk a lot

That’s true. You do bowlhead. Is it because you’re the son of a preacher man and your rebelling?

B: Not really. Just a lack of self-control, a deep hatred for the reality of my life and friends like you and marv. The first time I got drunk ever was with you and rob at the rocket from the crypt gig, and rob came back with quadruple jd's, are you really surprised i ended up like this?
It’s your entire fault

Bowlhead. Your life is great you pussy. I remember that night well. We intentionally set out to destroy you. Hey I was just reading robs messages and he told his girlfriend 'you never treat yourself, have a chocolate moose' ha-ha. That’s code for your getting steamed later

B:He will never change but tell him its spelt mousse
I hate bad spelling

Its because your really clever and me and rob are stupid. Its ok, its true. What’s your favorite dinosaur?

B:Stegosaurus I think

WRONG! It’s a thesaurus text!


Ok bowlhead. I have to go. I have to take the missus for sum food. If you had money and good taste, where would you take that lovely Swedish girlfriend of yours?

B: Where she wanted to go because she's better than I am at everything. She would have the best choice, if it were me, chips and a cuppa

Bowl, your so self-deprecating. We know you’re a loser, that’s why you’re on here. But you’re a good'un really. She’s getting chips and a battered sausage.

B:Treat her too god and she'll be off you know what they say Daniel. I like being a loser I feel like I fit in, lets do stunts real soon, I’m back I tell you!


  1. i thought it was a boston steamer?

  2. you know what, it is a boston steamer. what a plank.

  3. http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Cleveland_steamer

  4. not even good for a battered sausage? yor dumped! xx